Upstairs And so Ygraine married the Prince, and they (and the Fierce Beast) went to live in a big log castle in the Great West, with a gas stove and a big cozy fireplace. In due time, Ygraine was delivered of a happy, healthy little princess with flossy brown hair, skin like creamy pearls, and deep stormy-summer-sky- blue eyes. And they all lived happily ever after. That ending is fine for reading to my daughter -- in fact it puts a little lump in my own throat because most things do nowadays -- but I refuse to let it be the ending to this diary. Logging in the other day, I realized that DiaryLand has been my buddy for ten, count 'em, ten years. And maybe my navel is overdue once again for some gazing. Where do you go after Happily Ever After? "Of course they had their trials and some arguments, and Ygraine occasionally slept on the couch because the snorting scratching spouse and the sniffing licking hound kept her awake in the bedroom, but generally they were very happy. Ever after." After 16 months of tending to my princess, I'm thinking about the grownup world again. Not thinking of going back to it precisely. No, it is still a lot of fun right here. But the grownup world insists on intruding. Mercury is starting to make quiet noises -- and to take quiet actions -- that indicate I may have been sitting around the house (watching Oprah, buffing my nails, and eating bonbons apparently) for quite long enough, by his lights. Snip here a big ol' rant on the oh-so-underappreciated task of mothering. Digression: my mother said something very nice the other day on the phone. She said, "When you're in it [mothering], you're just in it. But now, seeing you with your own daughter, I am really reaping the rewards." I like to think of that. I mean, of her being happy with her life's work. /digression When I was litigating (shudder) and then teaching (wistful sigh), and then cleaning up Mercury's office while administrating a pack of wild paralegals (hmpf), I always thought, "I'd like to do something happy and fun. Something that brings joy and light to the world each day." I had no idea that raising a tiny princess would fulfill that wish. But it does. My only job each day is to make everything happy and fun for this wee beastie. Well, and to keep her clean, fed, socialized, &c., of course. But with each little squiff or giggle, I know that I'm adding something happy and fun to the world. Or, at the very least - and it's not a small thing - that I'm making all the difference to one starfish. Last night, with the princess all cuddled up in my lap, clutching Frog and wearing her pink fuzzy footies sleepers, also with frogs on them, she pointed to a picture in her book with one pink fat finger. "That's a mama," I said. "See, she is carrying a baby." And my little one twisted around in my lap, tickling with her soft hair under my chin, looked up into my eyes, and said, "Mama." And pointed to me. "That's right. I am your mama." /emote melt. Now isn't that a somethin' to expunge all my past sins? |
8:40 a.m. - 01-09-10
Recent entries:
Sealy Writes - 04-04-18
Rewind to "Everything's Fine" - 12-25-17
What We Have So Far - 12-25-17
Lightning Crashes - 2017-12-24
Long Years in a Short Time - 09-11-13
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